One Post, Five Formats

Here are real things customers have said about {{product}}
(reviews, support emails, interview quotes):

"""
{{customer quotes}}
"""

Write landing-page copy that sounds like our customers, not like an ad.

1. Headline (max 10 words), built from a phrase customers actually used.
2. Subheading that names the problem in their words.
3. Three benefit blocks, each with a short title, two sentences and the
   customer quote that inspired it.
4. One honest line about who this is NOT for.
5. A call to action button label (max 4 words).

Avoid: "seamless", "powerful", "revolutionary", "all-in-one", exclamation marks.

We're launching {{feature or product}} for {{audience}}.
What it does: {{one sentence}}
Why it matters to them: {{the problem it solves}}
Proof: {{a number, quote or example}}
Call to action: {{what we want them to do}}

Write the launch email three times:
A) Plain and practical: like a helpful note from a colleague.
B) Story-led: open with a specific customer moment (use the proof above;
   don't invent people).
C) Playful: one light joke maximum, still clear by line two.

Each: subject line, preheader, body under 150 words, one button label.
Then tell me which tone fits the audience best and why.

I need ideas for {{what: campaign, name, event, post}} for {{audience}}.

Step 1: Give me ten deliberately terrible ideas. Make them bad in different ways:
too literal, too expensive, wrong decade, wrong audience, too boring,
too weird, technically illegal-sounding (but not actually harmful), and so on.
Label each with how it's bad.

Step 2: For each terrible idea, find the one interesting thing hiding in it.

Step 3: Turn the three most interesting hidden things into real, workable ideas,
each with a one-line pitch and a cheap way to test it this week.